Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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