Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
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his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
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All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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