im holly from the hills drunk
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
She even gives head with a lisp.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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