final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
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