sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize