After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize