I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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