Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize