i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
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