If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize