Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
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12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
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He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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