the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
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A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
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FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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