I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
You've changed since you got that strap on
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
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