i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Randomize