All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
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