I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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