Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
How's work?
Spinning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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