WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
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Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
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