Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
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