Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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