You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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