worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They took my balls.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize