Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
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