He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Randomize