hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Randomize