I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize