You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize