he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
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I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
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Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
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