Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
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