I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
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