The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
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Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
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WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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