I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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