Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize