Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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