I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Randomize