I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
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He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
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So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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