My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
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