Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize