Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize