after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
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This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
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Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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