she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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