I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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