How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Randomize