Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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