I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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