Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I said "one day" and that day is not today
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
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