tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
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