I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
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