Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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