the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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