Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize