just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
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Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
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I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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