She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize